I saw one of the most wondrous scenes I have ever witnessed the other day and I had to share it with you. This display was in a dinosaur museum down here in Utah. Actually it was a "museum of ancient life". If you drive past the point of the mountain you will see what I'm talking about. Well I thought it was just dinosaurs going in, but to my very very pleasant surprise, this sight greeted me as I turned one of the last corners in the museum.
There may not be anything as amusing to me as animated skeletons. I know some of you will be with me on this one. At least any of you who have any taste for the ridiculous. And just to preempt any "chicken or the egg" type theories that may develop about my fascination of skeletons and matriculation at medical school, the following will set straight the true chronology of events.
I will now attempt to defend my love of skeletons. If you find yourself in disagreement with me, please peruse the following. If you agree with me already (Joe, Mark, Cruz, etc.) just enjoy. Long ago, in a land far away (Disneyland in California) I witnessed, at the age of 5, my first animated skeleton. I'm not sure of this skeleton's name, only that his attempts at drinking from a bottle of rum were obviously quite futile.
At nearly the same time (shortly thereafter) I saw the 1929 Disney classic Silly Symphony - Dance of the Skeletons. Mr. Walt Disney began my addiction to skeletons. Every time I see a skeleton I now have the nearly irresistible urge to play its ribs like a xylophone. Highly inappropriate in many settings I find myself in currently. Numerous succeeding Halloweens could only serve to reinforce skeletons as hilarious.
And who could leave out the creations of Ray Harryhausen. See exhibit B and C below from Jason and the Argonauts and Sinbad, respectively. An honorable mention goes here to Clash of the Titans, because while lacking in skeletons, it abounds with other stop motion creatures from Mister Harryhausen (who, for the longest time, I thought was Harry Hausen, not Ray).
Exhibit B
via videosift.com
Exhibit C
Of course in this same tradition, or rather a tribute to it, is Sam Raimi's "Army of Darkness", chock full of animated skeleton goodness. The culmination of my love for skeletons came circa 2002, when Joe and I purchased a five foot tall cast skeleton. Yes Joe, you still get credit for that particular Ebay purchase despite a lack of ultimate financial backing.
"Duncan Xavier, the Duke of WellingBONE". (draw out the bone..."Booooooooowwwwennnnaaa"
I sold him to someone in Michigan for a handsome profit some months later, but not before plenty of entertainment was had by all.
Whether it be the imagined chattering mandibles or the free movement of joints unhindered by muscles and tendons, skeletons are truly natures physical comedians. The pure illogical nature of moving bones without the aid of musculature is worth diamonds in my book. So enjoy skeletons where ever you may see them. Let me know about your favorite skeleton cameos. And until we meet again I'll secretly chuckle at every x-ray I observe.
14 comments:
this is the funniest posting i have read in years. easily. and how I do miss Duncan Xavier, Duke of Wellingbeeeeeeaaaaauuuuuunnnn and our plans for him, including:
*Duncan dressed as bartender in your parents basement, complete with armband and handlebar mustache, polishing a snifter
*Duncan cruising mainstreet, riding shotgun in Fritz
*Duncan, at the Griffin residence, seated in a chair with legs crossed, donning reading glasses, engrossed in Jack London
Last we heard, Duncan is enjoying a stately life on one of the Great Lakes, right? Do you still have his patella?
I am going to have to visit that museum. Your pictures paint a thousand primal screams.
I would go now, this instant, if they were animatronic. Just like the poor dehydrated pile of bones you mentioned that resides in Disneyland. We need more of that in Utar.
I would have loved to be in on the team that designed those dioramas. I want to shake the hand of the man who thought of adding the skeleton getting smashed by a vexed beast.
my other, more nerdy reaction to this charming little skele-scene is this: is this a gross anachronism? Are these modern Homo sapiens skeles attacking a Mastodon? Does the timeline allow for such a thing, or should those skulls be more skulking...smaller, with more furrowed brow?
what say you, Beez?
I must admit that I too find the poor primitive man getting crushed by the mastadon to be my favorite feature of this particular scene, although I chuckled mightily at the boney feller hoisting the boulder.
Joe, my nerdy nature unfortunately takes the conspiracy out of the setup. Of course this is all dependant on the actually time period that this debacle of a hunt is taking place, but it would most likely be Cro-Mag. Cro-Magnon would most likely not be easily distinguished from modern homo sapiens, and in fact is classified as homo sapiens itself, modern man is actually homo sapiens sapiens.
If this scene took place 30,000 or more years ago there is a slight chance that our brave hunters might have been neanderthal. If this were the case they would be more distinguishable, however the classic depiction of the stooped, hunchbacked neanderthal was actually based on one skeleton that actually had severe arthritis. This is the skull you seek, however it would actually be quite a bit bigger than modern man.
Older specimens with smaller skulls such as Homo Habilus would not have the tool technology represented in this feature.
There are many visions of our youth that remain unfulfilled, e.g. Jacko.
Sorry if you already knew this stuff, I don't mean to sound patronizing.
And I found a new favorite phrase that I would like to use in a movie
"This is the skull you seek"
Way to go Brian, once again calling attention to my ignorance of ancient man. You always do that.
I think they should have gathered 2 dozen sets of Homo floresiensis and had them attacking the beast. Now that would be comic/tragic to the max.
Joe, come on, honestly, are you going to be around for Thanksgiving and/or christmas or what?
Ball must be played, despite our summertime failures. I haven't seen you and Asher Lev for "like ever".
And as for the long tirade about homo sapiens, I can't even really remember if I'm right about all that, I just wanted to sound smart and nerdy.
I can't compete with words, so I have to try to sound smart in other ways.
It doesn't work....
Bees, you are the wisest. Sincerely. As for Thanksg/Xmas, we will be around for both. Let us meet. Also, Sammy will be here for Christmas (he and Rob and I are going to record a CAP cd) so we should all get together.
Wyrd, amigo.
Let's not forget the side-splitting hilarity of the drunk skeleton from the classic, "The Last Unicorn." (Mer, if you've not yet exposed Brian to this, it's time he learned about this family skeleton.)
And another clip, just because
cats with eye patches are pretty funny, too. "That be...nice."
Miriam
Oh my goodness, Miriam, yes....how could I forget. And rest assured, Meredith didn't need to expose me to the Last Unicorn....I did that to myself at like age 5 or something. I think it was the same sick day from school as "Watership Down". May explain a lot about my disturbed nature that I was watching such cartoons at that age.
The Harpy still scares the nickels out of me. Not to mention the red bull.
Thanks for the clip, too. Can't believe I could leave that one out. Good job.
Some old home movie clips from my childhood:
Pirates
(Skip to 2:00 point if bored)
Ryan
How, Brian, how did we forget this piece of wonder?
This terrified me as a kid. Terrified. Now, I don't know what is scarier: the skelies, or the potential smell of that crowd.
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